Kotor was pretty simple. It's about the size of the Old Dorms area at UVa -- which means small. But it was one of the prettiest places I've seen yet.

The area along the Adriatic coastline from Dalmatia to Montenegro is obviously a nature-lover's paradise. The air is full of life. The water is sparkling clean. The mountain backdrops feed the families of native postcard hawkers. But my favorite are the "We were taking a bath and accidentally dropped a plugged-in hairdryer into the tub with us" Christmas trees that dominate the landscape. It seriously looks just like they've been electrocuted ... yet have survived, and are healthy to boot.

Like always, I have no idea what they're called.


I need some help on this; I'm looking for a ... what's it called ... a ... crap, I can't find the word.

Oh! I've got it. I'm looking for an "arbolist...look up the word. I don't know; maybe I made it up. Anyway, it's an arbo-treeist; somebody who knows about trees." An arbo-treeist would surely be able to answer my question.

(Yes, George Bush really did utter that quote, verbatim. It was one of my favorite "W'isms," taped to my door in college for two years).


Well, Iraq is out. I guess we can settle for winning Montenegrin hearts and minds.


The entire city is a labyrinth; every single nook and cranny looks exactly like this one. Trying to find your way home is like playing Pac Man, only you don't have an aerial view. And you don't get free cherries when you win. Nor do you get a hot Montenegrin "Mrs. Pac Man" to make out with after a few levels.