Some of you may wear reading glasses, so I will tell you what this says in larger font.


Special arrangement for ladies

Sarajevo at night (going out in the city till down)

Sarajevo romance (diner, walking out romantic places)

Sarajevo adventure (deae with a guy on your choice)
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Sometimes, blog material just falls into my lap.

Where to begin?
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This flyer was taped to the back window of the van-of-death that transported me, an annoying, gross Australian "girl" and a lovely Portuguese couple from the train station to our hostel, directly across from the Bascarsija Turkish market section of Sarajevo. No contact information was included.

"What in the hell?"

That is the universal reaction to the "special arrangment for ladies" amongst every single lady and gentleman who has been lucky enough to catch a ride in that van.

I'm taking that the lack of contact information -- no phone number, no email, nothing -- means that the "guy of your choice" is whittled down to one: Whoever is lucky enough to be driving on the day that a desperate lady finally takes 'em up on their blind "deae" offer.

The two possibilities for hitting the Bosnian van driver jackpot aren't pretty. It's one or the other: A tall, dark and not-so-handsome man missing one of his front teeth, or the lazy-eyed, don't-look-at-me-or-I'll-kill-you-with-my-war-veteran-glare-alone dude.

Both are nice guys, but neither is quite what any lady is probably looking for.

"How do you think they actually present your options?" I wondered out loud, in a hushed-tone from the middle seat, as the van swerved and darted through traffic at a speed just a hair underneath rocket-fuel proportions. "Like, a lineup? Or perhaps a book of laminated photos, with 'likes' and 'dislikes' printed underneath in equally-bad English?"

No one had the answer, and no one -- especially the two ladies -- was trying to broach the subject with Lazy Eye, who happened to be the driver we had selected that morning.

I can only imagine that the special arrangement offer has never been taken up. The thought of what these two men consider to be worthy of "romance" or "adventure" can only include boxed wine, hourly rates and a slot for a quarter.

Ah, the Balkans.