All I want for Christmas is that the Orthodox world celebrate it on the same day as us!


January 7? Really? This is definitely messing with my holiday spirit.

I guess I made my own bed. Already in love with Istanbul before I had laid eyes on her, I just assumed it would draw me in like a magnet, and I planned accordingly. Thanksgiving, Elizabeth. Just after Christmas, the rest of the family. That would give me a minimum of six weeks in Turkey, either to find work in Istanbul or travel around the rest of Anatolia.

I made those plans months ago. Never in a million years would I have guessed that I'd be sitting here, in the capital of Serbia, in the middle of December.

Hell, I was supposed to be in Syria by the end of September.


All the matters now is this: What am I supposed to do when my Christmas comes around? I have to be back in Istanbul two days after, and I'm not trying to be in a Muslim country on December 25. So what are my options?

Croatia is way too far. Serbia is out. The eastern part of Bosnia is called Republika Srpska - that's out. Macedonia - no. Montenegro - no. Bulgaria - no. Romania - no. Greece - no.

Ba humbug.


Clearly, no one took my travel plans into consideration when they were fixing their calendars last millenium.


It's nice that there are lights up and all. 'Tis still the season, and without them, I'm not sure I'd find much to be cheerful about when the Spanish Armada of kitchen knives known as Serbian December air is ripping through my clothes. But it's not the same.


I guess I'll just have to find a new date for Christmas, as a compromise between Western and Eastern Christianity.

December 27 it is.