And the award for the best way not to get a girl goes to....

I almost forgot to tell the GREATEST Belgrade story of all time.

I don't understand why everyone films me all the time!

And of course, it involves Pete.

Stop filming!!

And it also involves the "Sexy time!" neighbor chick who was less than thrilled with my executive decision to post her MySpace picture on the Internet a few weeks back (although, isn't a MySpace picture already on the Internet?? I'm not really sure I understand where she's coming from).




Quite frankly, this neighbor-who-is-to-remain-anonymous is a good-looking feminina. So when she walked into the Three Black Catz for the first time, with all four of us brates all sitting around the table, the unanimous reaction was pretty amusing to see: Silence. And lots of staring.

Gawking, if you will.

I was content to just continue gawking. But Pete, who had been trying to learn a bit of Serbian whenever he was sober enough to read his Teach Yourself book, wanted to get to the heart of the matter.

He started to speak to her in a language that only he could actually understand.

Here's what it sounded like to onlookers:

"SerbianSerbianSerbian, uhhh, SerbianSerbian, uuhh, Serbian." Anonymous neighbor chick just squinted, not understanding. Pete continued. "Me?" Points to himself. "Ili, Kris?" Points to Kris. "Ili, Vincent?" Points to Vincent. "Ili, Bayless." Points to me.

I looked at Vincent and Kris -- they had no clue.

Neither did the neighbor chick.

"Excuse me, what are you asking?"

Pete looked at her impatiently, and translated what he had just said into English. "Which one of us do you want?" he blurted out.

I am just glad I hadn't taken a sip of whatever it was I was drinking at the time, because it would have gone all the way to Republika Srpska, I started to laugh so hard.

WHICH ONE OF US DO YOU WANT???? REALLY??

No one could control their bodies, it was so funny. And so random! Out of nowhere.

But we were still waiting on an answer.

"No one," she said, and then proceeded to get online to talk to her e-love. Sexy time!