No. 1, undoubtedly, has to be this:
They love Americans.
LOVE them.
But most of all, they looooooooooove Bill Clinton. For obvious reasons.
"Welcome to Bill Clinton Boulevard!" he says from a view overlooking the main street in Prishtina, Kosovo's largest city.
Prizren wasn't to be upstaged by its western neighbor.
I would love to see my uncle spend some time there. All of my parents' brothers are conservative, but the one I'm thinking of is CONSERVATIVE. And it would really put him to the test to be thanked personally by Kosovar Albanians -- as I was twice in four days -- for all the things that "Cleen-ton" did for them in 1999.
How would he respond to that one??
It would come down to a simple measurement. Which is greater: His love for the United States of America, or his hatred for Bill Clinton?
Kosovar: "We love America, thankyou, thankyou."
Red State American: (Self-congratulating smile on his face) "Oh, well we are glad that our benevolence is appreciated in at least some quarters of the world. On behalf of all peace-loving nations of the free world, you're most welcome, Mr. Kosovar Albanian."
Kosovar: (Excited to be speaking to a real, live American who has come to his country) "Cleen-ton. We love Bill Cleen-ton."
Red State American: ???????????????????????
If you want to scientifically gauge these two emotions internally combating one another inside of a card-carrying member of the Republican Party For Life crew, Kosovo is just the place.
Here's my question. Don't you think it would have to be a kick in the balls for someone eternally loyal to W to see that the only Muslims in the world who like us are firmly in the camp of Monica's man?
("But Pat, what about the Saudi royal family? They like us, don't they?"
"Good observation, Scooter! That is correct!"
"Stupid Clinton."
"I agree! Can you believe he thought it was appropriate to accept the fact that high school children have sex?! And he endorsed sex education rather than promoting abstinence in public schools?! What a monster.")
Scooter would definitely have a big problem there. All sorts of stores and shops feel free to use Clinton's name -- kind of like this "Mermer Kumanova," which looked like some sort of tire shop. What "Mermer Kumanova" really means, I have no idea.
"Well, theh's a sight you don't see every day," a British voice said behind me as I took this picture on the streets of Prizren. "Thankyou USA, hahaha."
I caught up to him a few seconds later. "Especially with a mosque in the background," I added.
"Well, the mosque doesn't mattah," he said. "It's just that who in the wohld would say they love the USA?"
"Oh, I don't know," I thought to myself. "Maybe someone who would have become an island occupied by Nazis if it wasn't for America?"
Stupid Brit.
When I read the fine print of those posters, though, all I thought about was why I had decided to go to Turkey for Thanksgiving. The reason was completely logical -- so that Elizabeth would bring a turkey for us to eat there. But she had failed me.
We should have just gone to Kosovo -- that is what I realized three days ago. Even though no Albanians were celebrating the holiday, they were having a period of thanks-giving which was related to my country.
My first observation about this photo was obvious: How did they decide on these two athletes? Michael Jordan and No. 86 for the Colts?
I couldn't even figure out who No. 86 for the Colts is. It's not Brandon Stokley -- he's 83. Ricky Proehl? He was on the Colts this year, wasn't he?
Was it the fact that Kosovars were so excited about the pending visit of the Colts' cheerleaders this week?
Or was it a back-handed slap at Serbs, since Chicago is the second-largest Serbian city in the world, and the Colts back-hand slapped Grossman and the Bears in the Super Bowl?
PEY-TON! PEY-TON!We will never know, unless Tener emails me with an explanation. What we will know is that Kosovo is for sure a safe haven for anyone born in the U.S.A.
Except for Ken Starr.
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