Welcome to America! The Land of the Free stuff we can steal from you in baggage claim!

Nearly 11 months on the road, in places that would make most West U soccer moms gasp to hear about, and I don't get robbed a single time. Less than one hour back on U.S. soil, though, in a place that is protected by Homeland Security, and my pack gets completely unzipped before it comes down the baggage claim shaft.

"Hope they got something good," I muttered to the concerned women standing behind me. She had that look on her face that people get when they are thinking, "Thank God it wasn't me."

"What'd they take?" She looked pained.

I knew the answer immediately.

Of all the amazing birthday gifts I received last February at my "Dick in a Box" party at the Three Black Catz -- the homemade rakia, the Bob Marley bio, the Serbian music, the Belgrade t-shirts, the coffee mug -- the hands-down winner for best gift was a butterfly knife from Stewy and Aly.

"You need a knife, dude," Stewy said. "You can't travel like this without one." So they took care of the problem, and they even paid extra to have engraved on it, "3BC Crew."

And once I'm done traveling, it gets jacked. Really a good mood-setter for my first day back.

But at least the Rockets played well last night!