ESPECIALLY if you're looking for this
"Bayless, have you gotten a job yet?" The Bob was playing with our dog Shiner when he asked the question. He had just gotten home from work, a routine he has been engaged in for the past 30 years.
I hadn't been outside of the house all day. It was dark by that point.
"Nah, I've decided I'm just gonna sell a bunch of crap on eBay."
The look on my dad's face was, in a word, unimpressed.
"My son, instead of deciding to work, is going to sell stuff on eBay." He was kind of talking to himself -- I'm not sure how I was supposed to take that one.
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So far I've only posted four items. That's four down, about 100 to go.
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Caroline wasn't any more impressed than The Bob.
"Yeah, uhhh, I saw some of the pictures on Mary's computer of what you're trying to sell on eBay...."
"Really!"
"Yeah."
Confidence was oozing out of my pours as I awaited her next line -- this idea was $$$$$$ and I knew it.
"Dude, no one is gonna buy that crap."
(insert sound of screeching record here)
"WHAT?!"
I scanned the room for support.
Blank faces. No support.
"What are you TALKING about, dude?!"
My ex-girlfriend (and after this insult, I am emphasizing the EX) scanned the same room before she continued to "baca hejt" (bat-sah hate) as they say in Serbian.
"You're selling CRAP!"
Throwing hate.
If trash = crap, and one man's trash is another man's treasure, than I am selling treasure.
I hadn't been outside of the house all day. It was dark by that point.
"Nah, I've decided I'm just gonna sell a bunch of crap on eBay."
The look on my dad's face was, in a word, unimpressed.
"My son, instead of deciding to work, is going to sell stuff on eBay." He was kind of talking to himself -- I'm not sure how I was supposed to take that one.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
So far I've only posted four items. That's four down, about 100 to go.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Caroline wasn't any more impressed than The Bob.
"Yeah, uhhh, I saw some of the pictures on Mary's computer of what you're trying to sell on eBay...."
"Really!"
"Yeah."
Confidence was oozing out of my pours as I awaited her next line -- this idea was $$$$$$ and I knew it.
"Dude, no one is gonna buy that crap."
(insert sound of screeching record here)
"WHAT?!"
I scanned the room for support.
Blank faces. No support.
"What are you TALKING about, dude?!"
My ex-girlfriend (and after this insult, I am emphasizing the EX) scanned the same room before she continued to "baca hejt" (bat-sah hate) as they say in Serbian.
"You're selling CRAP!"
Throwing hate.
Oh really, Caroline?
| Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus - Cite This Source | |
| Main Entry: | trash |
| Part of Speech: | noun 3 |
| Definition: | nonsense |
| Synonyms: | balderdash, bilge*, bunkum, claptrap, crap, drivel, foolish talk, hogwash, hokum, inanity, malarkey*, nonsense, prating, rot, rubbish, tripe, twaddle |
If trash = crap, and one man's trash is another man's treasure, than I am selling treasure.
There's a lot more on the way, too.
Old school Houston Oilers wife beater's
Belts that my belly has outgrown
Scottish Kilts ... that my belly has outgrown
Texas bar hats that some stupid 15-year-old frat boy in training will snag
Soccer ball pillows (juggling lessons not included)
Peek-a-Pooh stuffed animals
(Get it??)
And my favorite, the one that will FOR SURE bring home the big bucks, my vintage Michael Vick poster
Whatever kind of treasure it is, you can get it on eBay.
1 comment:
dear lord the michael vick poster
what year is that from?
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