Meet Fau.

Now, meet Deriki.

Together, they make up the Fau & Deriki Show...

... playing every day at an African village near me.

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For any other child in Patandi, I wouldn't be able to say. But when it's either Fau or Deriki crying in the distance, I can tell you without hesitation, no matter how faint the noise. It's a constant background hum that I've gotten as used to as I have the early morning roosters next door. These kids have practically become my own.

"The Fau and Deriki Show" is how I've labeled the separate folder in My Pictures set aside just for all the "awww, cuuuuute!" shots I've gotten of these two neighbors.

Fau, short for Fauzia, is Baba Juma's granddaughter. He spoils her rotten. Whether it's giving her hamsini (50 shillings) to go buy a piece of candy from the dukani down the path, or showering her with a level of affection that I've never seen him give to any of his own children, or spending time with her in the classroom of the daycare center run on his property, teaching her how to count to ten in English, Baba Juma lets Fau know that she is No. 1 in his heart.




(Except for when he tries to force her to hold onto a dead rat he found laying in their yard).

Deriki, on the other hand, is just a neighbor of Baba Juma's. But he is No. 1 on Fau's list of people she bitches around. Remember how I mentioned that I've come to know them so well that I know their cries from a mile away? Most of the time I hear Deriki crying, I can tell you who pushed him to that point: Fau.

Like the time Fau was messing with poor Deriki at our house when they came over to make tie dye shirts.

Deriki pointing fingers; Fau looking like "Who, me?"

But no matter how much Fau screws with her boy toy Deriki, they always kiss and make up.

"Fau! Mbusu Deriki!"

Usually because we force them to.

"Deriki! Mbusu Fau!"

And thus, I learned the command form of the word "to kiss," all because I love to screw with these two future lovebirds so much.

Maybe it's just because she's a few months older than Deriki. Or, maybe it's like Baba Juma says: "Girls mature faster than boys." I don't know how the precedent was initially set. What I do know is that Fau runs shit in this relationship.

She is constantly telling Deriki what to do, and he is constantly obeying. Normally, I say no chick is worth being humiliated for, but maybe Deriki thinks otherwise. Maybe Fau is just that fine on the two to three-year-old circuit in Patandi, and Deriki doesn't want to lose hold of his tenuous grip on her. She does have earrings already, after all -- and you should see that girl move on the dance floor.




And if that's the case, then Deriki is like me; he understands the importance of laying the foundation of your game early on. I tried that with Heather Siegfried back when we were eating mud together on Bluebonnet, and it didn't work. By the time I was five, she'd moved on to J.P. But that doesn't mean Deriki's plan will fail.

But he better realize soon that if he keeps calling Hunter by my name, Hatari, he may not live long enough to taste the fruit of the seedling he has planted in Fau's heart.

"I think he's just f****** with me," Hunter says every time he hears Deriki yell my name at him. "Every time I tell him, 'Sema Mwindaji,' he says, 'Hatari!' and laughs. The other day I swear he said 'Mwindaji,' but then he just went right back to 'Hatari.'"

"You think he's that sophisticated to be able to pull off the kind of humor?"

"I think Deriki may be smarter than we give him credit for."




Can't be that smart. As you can see, Deriki thinks he can hide from the wrath of Hunter M. Flint. Well, he's got another thing coming if that's the case. Not even his girl can save him from Mwindaji.




See?