Tom is from Havertown, Pennsylvania. So it's not that surprising that he's not a real Phillies fan. He's not even really from Philadelphia.

Nonetheless, he tries to front like he's rowdy. Just like he tried to pretend he was obsessed with the Eagles during college; I never hear him talking about "Donovan" these days, now that baseball is de rigeur once again in the city closest to his hometown. Now the Phils are back in the World Series for the first time since Mitch Williams, all the way back in 1993. And Tom's not even going to be in town for it.

Tell me this: what kind of fan plans a trip to North Carolina and Virginia for the week of the World Series when his team is in the division race the month before? A fake fan. One who a) doesn't think his team is going to make it that far, or b) doesn't care. Or c) doesn't believe and doesn't care.

He tried to paint himself differently, of course, in his email to me the night after the baseball team in his area took down the Dodgers in five games:


"I am a fan. I love watching baseball games and going to them. compared to the average american, i am above average in my support and love of baseball and other sports, especially watching them. But yes, compared to people like you, i am shit. following sports teams day in day out stuff, especially when the information is not readily available. is not one of my priorities. but when it is, i can be on my game quite readily. now im back. i will say that i was in the city last night for the game. it was awesome. there were bonfires and cops and banging on cars... very enjoyable."


Wow, you really convinced me, Tom. Ya know, I lived in Africa for over a year, too. And I was traveling for a year before that. And not once did I not know what was going on in the NL Central standings. Not only that, but in the fall of 2004, when my Astros were up 3-2 in the series with St. Louis, and a game away from their first World Series appearance in franchise history, I went so far as to book a round-trip ticket home from Switzerland, where I was studying abroad at the time, so that I could go to Game 4, and then leave the next day to go back to Europe. I had a refundable ticket reserved through a travel agent, throwing down $687 of my own money, so that I could be there for my team in such a special moment.

Of course, thanks to Jim Edmonds and Dan Miceli, I ended up not having to make that trip, because the Cards took the last two games of the Series, en route to an ass kicking at the hands of a Boston team that was not to be denied. But at least I proved my dedication. Tom? He's "back" from South Africa, and he's not even going to be in the state of Pennsylvania for the entirety of the Series.

I think that fact speaks volumes on his character. He is not a real Phillies fan. Thank you.