"So I hope i can trust you with my life..."

As I see the end of my salvage career coming around the corner, the job search continues. I am changing my life plans every half hour or so, but these days, I'm feeling Austin. Every few days I get on craigslist.com and look for that next chapter of my life to just pop up on my screen, in the form of a link. Shockingly, it hasn't happened yet.

A few days ago, I found a listing for a tutoring position, part time, $30/hr, that I figured was worth a shot. So I gave it a half assed attempt, expecting to never hear back. I have never tutored anyone, and I figured a million people would be hitting "Louis Smith" up for the position. But it was no skin off my back to try.

Well, I heard back all right. But before we delve into the creepy response I received, first read my email, just to get a sense of how blown away I am by Louis' reply:

From: Bayless Parsley <billyparsley@gmail.com>
Subject: tutor position
To: louis.smith1960@yahoo.com
Date: Monday, December 22, 2008, 4:18 AM

Hi, I'm responding to the craigslist ad for the open tutor position. I have experience in education and work very well with children. If you'd like me to send a copy of my resume, please let me know. I hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,

Bayless Parsley

713-252-9255

That is it. Nothing special. Nothing to indicate that I'm a qualified tutor. Nothing to indicate that I don't have to go around knocking on people's doors to let them know I'm a sex offender anytime I move into a new neighborhood. I said nothing to Louis at all about myself, other than some vague descriptions of "experience in education" and being good with children.


Now, Louis' reply:


From: Louis Smith louis.smith1960@yahoo.com
Subject: tutor position (reply needed ASAP)
To: <billyparsley@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, Dec 22, 2008 at 8:32 PM

Hello ,

Thank you for the email, At present,i seek an experienced private tutor for my teenage son in Math, English, Science and reading tutorial. I would be happy to have my son under your tutorship,I have made contacts with my son( boy of 13 yrs) concerning this arrangement of the tutoring and it's pretty cool with him. Please advise on your fees (per hour/per day) depending on how you've rendered your services in the past.i want you to know I'm paying for 1 month ($30.00/hr) is what I have in mind . I hope you understand this as total deposit to BOOK your services ) . Also am planning for you to tutor him 3 times a week, which is 2hr per day,so get back to me with the total fee for the subjects and when you will be available to teach him during the week.Also my son does not resides in the states,He stays here with me in United Kingdom (UK). So my son will be arriving the states by Dec 2008 and i want him to study more while there in the states because am planning a relocation for him , I took him with me after I lost his mother some years ago was a single painful experience in my life time .I want you to know I'll be sending you the payment inform of money orders/check for the tutorials while I'll also pay the Nanny that will look after him during his stay there, so as soon as you get the money orders/check cashed you'll deduct cost of tutoring for the month and send balance to my nanny . That will be communicated to you later on .

If you are ready and willing to accept this offer which is in the best interest of my son and yourself , kindly send your full information to receive the payment so it can be made out on time as he will be arriving soon , also I want you to know he's my only son and I love him more than I love myself , I would have accompany him if not that am in the middle of a big project So I hope i can trust you with my life because he's my life and reason why i work , also i made a promise to his mom to take very good care of him and see that he has a very bright future , he's aspiring to be an engineer but his mom would have loved to see him in a doctor's suit ...I want you to teach him good morals and academic , also I want you to help me make him discover himself and follow the path of what his heart tells him to be , I want the brightest future for him, I truly hope I can trust you with my son and with the nanny's payment although my son is of out most importance.

Thanks for willing to help , I will be waiting for you to e-mail me with the following details so we can make concrete arrangement very soon .

NAME:
ADDRESS:
CITY:
ZIP CODE:
CONTACT PHONE NUMBER:
DIRECT PHONE NUMBER:
AGE:
SEX:
EMAIL ADDRESS:

Will be waiting to read your mail soon.

Very Respectful

Louis Smith.

First, notice, he added "reply needed ASAP."

I would love to tell you that the reason there is no break for paragraphs is because of a copy and paste malfunction, during the transfer from the actual email to this Blogger window. But that is not the reason. The reason is because the entire email was just one paragraph. Spelling mistakes, punctuation errors, screw ups with the third person singular verb form ... who is Louis Smith?

The answer is probably not "himself."

Who the hell is this guy? Where is he from? What is his first language? Definitely not English. It's pretty obvious this is a scam, but the thing is, I don't see how. I really don't. How could he possibly benefit from the information he wants me to send him? Identity theft requires things like social security numbers, credit card numbers, etc., right? I am so fascinated by this. I think I'm just going to give him Pigneri's information.