...Until I realized, she and her cousins, Michelina and Atilla, must be planning on teaching me a bunch of dirty Norwegian phrases under the guise of helping me ingratiate myself with the family.
Let me just give you the following list of the sentences I asked how to say in Norwegian, followed by the Norwegian itself, and capped off by what I had actually been taught.
"I am in Bergen."
Jeg ma baesje veldig i Bergen.
I must poop hard in Bergen.
"Where are you?"
Har du diaré?
Do you have diarrhea?
"This mosquito is killing me."
Myggene suger all dritten ut av meg.
The mosquitoes are sucking the s**t out of me.
"You are nice."
Jeg ar sar i raeva.
My butt is sore.
And, my personal favorite, the only one I can still remember how to say in Norwegian at this point because of how incredibly uncouth it is:
"Let's go fishing."
Jeg har voondt i tissen.
My penis hurts.
I knew these teenage girls were up to something. I mean, my accent clearly wasn't good, but it couldn't have been THAT funny to hear me try to say various pleasantries in their language. And if it takes thirty seconds for someone to "think" of how to say "Where are you?", that means they're "thinking" of how to say "Do you have diarrhea?"
But at least they didn't record me saying all of this stuff before teaching me the real things.
No wait, they did.
Don't even give me that smile. It's not working with me. Du er NOT snill.
No comments:
Post a Comment