I've gradually become aware of an Afromantic trend that existed in 1970's Black America, and with only three months of intensive Swahili experience under my belt, I have yet to uncover just how prevalent it was.

So far, the list stands at four. All of its members were born within five years of one another: from '73 to '78. As my vocabulary grows, new revelations will be had, and the list will undoubtedly grow. But until that happens, here are the first four members of the "I'm a famous African-American athlete/rapper with a Swahili Name" club.

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1) Kijana Carter.

Though kijana means "young person" -- between the ages of just-finished-puberty and I think around mid-20's -- this running back who I associate with my college football-obsessed childhood is the oldest of the bunch.

Penn St. or Cincinnati? Bengal or Nittany Lion? The decision on which photo to select for this portrait was a tough one. He was the man in college. He was garbage in the pro's.

Like a boy among vijana

I went with Cincinnati, obviously.

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2) Amani Toomer.

Amani means "peace" in Kiswahili. He's just a year younger than Kijana, and about 1,000 times more successful as a pro.

Not very peaceful when you go across the middle, is it Amani?

Pretty much anyone who's ever gotten an email from me has seen the tag line of "peace" or one of its relatives in French (paix), Spanish (paz) and Serbian (mir). Now, all of my emails are ending with the first name of No. 81, Amani "It's Not A" Toomer.

Funny that after the comma, I type my main Swahili nickname: Hatari.

"Danger," in Kiswahili.

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3) Kobe Bryant.

Kobe means "turtle" to the Waswahili.

They pronounce it like koh-bay, but so what? Akon is referred to as uh-KON! by all of the wannabe South Central thugs we play basketball with at Soweto. Akon and uh-KON!; Kobe and koh-bay; it's the same word. I'm calling him Kobe "Keep Your Head in Your Turtle Shell From Now On" Bryant.

Sloooooooowwlyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy....

I doubt his folks were like Amani's and Kijana's. I think they were just trying to give their son an abstract namesake, not engender in him some mystical connection with East African shelled amphibians to help him play calmer. Err... reptiles. Or whatever turtles are.

[Just to prove I'm not the only one who is Not Smarter Than a Fifth Grader, read Hunter's answer to my editorial question:

"Uh.... (pause) .... shit. (pause, pause) They're reptiles."

(As he's cooking behind the wall, I can't see him. I hear nothing for the next six or seven seconds, except for the sound of a busted ass knife chopping up potatoes)

"Shit," and the silence was broken, "are they mammals?" (I laugh) "No, they're reptiles." (clearly thinking to himself) "I mean, they lay eggs."

He comes out of the kitchen to make his point.

"I'm going with reptiles."

I don't think Mwindaji should have a say, being from the North Carolinian village (Charlotte) that traded the future Hall of Fame turtle to the Lakers on draft day, back when Bryant was fresh out of Lower Merion High School.

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4) Kanye West.

Kanye is in a different category, not only because he's the only non-athlete of the bunch, but also because his name derives less from Kiswahili than from a language Biti refers to as Kiswahili cha mtaa: street Swahili.

♫ That's that crack music, (insert word I don't even feel comfortable writing with asterisks for fear of political correctness)! That real black music, (insert word I don't even feel comfortable writing with asterisks for fear of political correctness)! Na-na-na-nah-nah-NAH-nah-nahhh!♫

"Numba two, mos def."

It sure is, Kanye. Always about cracks, and in your case, a black one.

Today when I hitched a ride from my village to town, I started chatting with the driver in Swahili. Naturally, I dropped a few lines that you don't learn in books, cha mtaa kabisa.

He asked what else I'd learned. I explained the difference (there is none) between mikasi ("multiple pairs of scissors") and mikasi ("sex"). That led to me learning the truth about Kanye West.

"Unamjua Kanye? Kanye West?"

"Ndiyo."

"Do you know what his name means in Kiswahili?"

"No."

He gathered himself for what he knew was going to be a fit of laughter.

"In Kiswahili, 'kanye' means, 'Go and take a shit.'"

For the son of a college professor, you'd think his mother would be better than that.

♫ Hey mama, I wanna scream so loud for you, cuz I'm so proud'a you, and let me tell ya what I'm about to do... ♫

Kanye in the commode.