Wageni wanakuja kwetu...

Soweto during the last game of the day.

"So I'm sitting in a Georgetown bar in the late 80's, havin' a drink, when all of the sudden, in walks this huge, seven-foot tall black guy -- he stretches out his arms and screams, to the whole bar, 'Who wants to sex Mutomboooooooooo?'"

Picture a man this size with a voice that deep screaming something that direct in a place that public.

That was the story as recounted by my friend Ben a few years back; he was retelling it as he'd heard from one of the clone call ins to Jim Rome that morning. I haven't viewed Dikembe Mutombo quite the same since. Hundreds of people have heard the story, now officially third hand, from my own mouth. Only one, Scott, had ever heard it himself.

Tomorrow, if all goes to plan, which is far from a given in Tanzania, Hunter and I will get to meet the man responsible for the Ultimate Pick Up Line. Raised in Mobutu's Zaire, he's now the resident babu in the NBA, though he has seemingly found the fountain of youth in the past two seasons in Houston.

Not many parts of the Congo are Swahili-speaking. But if I find out that Dikembe anaongea Kiswahili, I'm translating his line into my new favorite language, and I'm gonna ask him, "Nani anataka kumtomba Mutomboooooo??"

And to think, I used to feel like shaking hands with George W. Bush was a big deal.

Let's hope that if he is an mSwahili, that he's got a sense of humor at the same time.

Pretty much the entire town has been working around the clock in the past month to get ready for this huge Leon H. Sullivan Summit set to take place in the Arusha International Conference Center this week. It's basically a week long excuse for African American businessmen to come to Tanzania and develop contacts with East African businessmen. President Kikwete is hosting it; "The Summit of a Lifetime." If by that he means "The Chance of a Lifetime for the City of Arusha to Take a Bath," than yeah, I agree. Never have I seen this place look so immaculate. Fresh coats of paint, paved roads, mass inspections of fleets of potential rental cars, and ironically, weekend-long power cuts in the month that has led up to this moment, while they repair their electrical infrastructure, so that the black Wazungu guests won't have to go without it during their stay.

The Arusha Times ran a story saying that Chris Tucker, Louis Gosset Jr. (what ever happened to that guy?) and the Rev. Jesse Jackson would be attending. That isn't going to affect me; I will not be running into any of them all week. What will affect me are the three guests that play basketball.

Because for me, Soweto is where the heart is.

Mutombo is clearly the main event.

But we're also going to get to chill with Golden State's Kelenna Azubuike...

I had never even heard of this guy until I found out I'd be welcoming him to Soweto

... and ex-UConn Huskie Hasheem Thabeet, a native Tanzanian who just declared for the Draft, who I know will speak Swahili.

It is gonna be cool to wasiliana with a future NBA star

I am reluctant to write with so much confidence. I live in Tanzania, remember? Disappointment is the rule; satisfaction the exception. So I don't want to e-jinx myself. But everyone swears this is really happening. And it was in a bunch of newspapers. So I'm taking the plunge.

There have been whispers that Who Wants to Sex Mutombo might actually play with us. I really doubt this, but, if he does, just know that I will be taking it right to the rack, hoping to get stuffed like a bitch, so that I can tell my grandkids one day, "Yeeeeeah, Dikembe Mutombo once gave the finger-wag to ME."

Did I mention he sounds like the Cookie Monster when he speaks?

"F*** that," Hunter said upon hearing my plan, "I'm gonna pull a reverse layup and try and score."